Friday Afternoon Thoughts
It seems like a confusing time for a lot of my friends and me. I was just chatting with a friend over coffee this morning, and while it was good to catch up, we started to dive deeper into the reality of what our lives are really like at the ages of 28 and 30.
This year alone, there has been a lot of unwanted change. I am forever grateful for those who took care of me and continue to support me during a time of grief. It has made me think hard about the people who show up, even miles apart, just to make sure you’re surviving. I’m eternally grateful for those kinds of friendships, and I hope I can do the same for them, and anyone.
On a lighter note, there have also been many changes I’ve made on my own. My friends know I recently quit teaching—a job I have wanted since I was in the fourth grade. Well, I also wanted to be a songwriter, a children’s book author, and travel photographer, but I stuck with teaching when it came down to what degree I wanted to pursue.
I used to imagine a life of teaching abroad every few years, bouncing from country to country and soaking in all the culture and life each place had to offer. I stuck to that dream for the first few years of teaching and taught in South America. I loved it! It was an incredible experience, and I was able to accomplish the two things I wanted to do—travel and teach. I also got to make lifelong friendships.
While I loved the travel aspect, the thing is, teaching wasn’t what I expected it to be. I thought my opinion would change, so I worked at a few other schools. Turns out, it still wasn’t what I wanted.
After six years, I finally made the decision to leave the classroom. I spent the last two years dragging my feet on this decision, but it finally felt like the right time. It’s a terrifying and wonderful feeling all wrapped into one. I am caught between wanting to fuel every creative passion project I have set aside for too long and grappling with the idea that I am no longer in one of the most stable careers.
The decision leading up to my departure involved letting go of a dream I had when I was little. It sounds disappointing when I write it out, but it’s actually a freeing feeling. When I was pondering the idea of leaving teaching, I thought I was giving up something I had worked so hard for. I felt like I was going to give up apart of myself, apart of an identity I created. The more clarity I gained about my decision, the more I realized that it’s not about giving up, but rather about shifting my standards to meet the person I’ve become.
We are taught at a young age that we go to school, get a job, and have a stable career. I think nowadays more people are fighting that norm, and going their own route.
At 28, I am no longer perceived as a child. I am in my late twenties, and I have noticed a significant shift in how younger friends or former colleagues look up to me for advice, as if age is the antidote to all the chaos and questions in life. Really, I feel like it’s just beginning. I feel like I am taking what I have learned through my experiences and am just getting started.
I’ve found it’s about accepting your own reality without comparing yourself to anyone else, which, nowadays, with social media, can be challenging. It’s easy to see a snapshot of someone’s life and think it’s glamorous and more successful. It’s hard not to put immense pressure on yourself. To keep myself grounded, I remind myself that other people's successes don’t hinder my own. It’s great to see people thrive, but it’s also important to create your own path, and there’s a lot of beauty in that.
The reality is we never stop learning. We often forget that everyone is navigating life for the first time. All the wisdom and life advice come from people sharing their experiences and what worked or didn’t work for them.
Like almost everyone, I want to achieve my goals. When you look at the big picture, it’s hard to break it down into smaller parts. But good things come in time, and slowly but surely, things come together, even if it’s not the piece you originally wanted to create. There’s a lot of gray in what happens in between.
Sometimes that gray means accepting that the thing you worked hard for isn’t what you want now.
If there’s anything I’ve learned from this year, it’s that anything is possible and everything is uncertain. There’s so much more to life than a 9-to-5 job and going through the motions of everyday life. There’s so much beauty in fueling your soul with your own passion projects, and creating friendships that push you outside of your comfort zone. I’m finding those two things are becoming more important than ever.
I’ve seen a lot of my friends grow and change over the years. There have been times when I’ve questioned their decisions, and I’m sure they have questioned mine. But there have also been moments when I’ve seen them shine. Life’s tribulations can be a ride on their own, but with the right love and support—and love for yourself—we can learn to forgive, create more, and push ourselves further.
